(This piece was written with Phinehas Osei, on the occasion of the wedding of a couple who were once CCF members.)
Two are better than one;
Because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow:
But woe to him that is alone when he falleth;
For he hath not another to help him up.
Again, if two lie together, then they have heat:
But how can one be warm alone?
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him;
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
And they lived happily ever after.
Except, we are not told – when Snow White rides off into the sunset with Prince Charming, happily ever was Prince Charming leaving his shoes and his shirt lying around wherever he removed them. We don’t get to read that sometimes Cinderella burns the food. That Rapunzel and her Prince fought so hard to make their love work.
Because love, it is more than a series of happy idyll moments like a commercial – because those moments may be as transient as that same 30 sec commercial. Or whispered sweet nothings into your ear that leave you dissolving like sugar in water, honey, because talk is cheap.
Love runs deeper than that.
It may be represented in smelling his morning breath and not flinching away when he leans over to kiss you; not being repulsed when her hair and makeup are all over the place like a politician seeking re-election. There is an element of love in still calling her your beauty queen when extra paddings of fat begin to blur the edges of what were once sleek, smooth curves after one trip to the labour ward. Love is found in him still being your Prince Charming when his hairline begins to recede like the Red Sea moving at Moses’ command.
Love? It is the man who imagines slipping his arms around his wife’s soft, thickening middle age waistline and letting her know he couldn’t love her more. Because true love sees greying and sagging as the deepening of something sacred and beautiful.
But you see, we would leave the equation incomplete if we walked away without talking about the one who is in himself the definition of love. For what is all this if it isn’t a shadow of unfeigned love? Solomon said true love is as strong as death. Well I say true love is stronger than death. Because I have come to know true love represented by Prince Charming rushing in to rescue the Princess from the wicked witch was only a pointer to the one true Prince who rushed in to save us from the hand of the wicked bond master. So sometimes true love might look like sacrifices and forgiveness, like a weary, battered man carrying a cross up skull hill. Love is the God-Man hanging on a tree just by iron nails driven straight through the veins of the one who choreographs the lines of stars. We would come to realize love, and we would know it; as God’s back is rubbed raw by the bark of a tree, his heart ripped open by the snarl of the crowds, as the creator bleeds the resurrection of his creation.
Don’t get me wrong – there’d be butterflies. There would be candle-lit dinners. There’d still be moments when you’d be content to stare into each other’s eyes and let the silence do the talking – for words would be woefully inadequate to convey your love and appreciation for each other.
But on the days when there is burnt food and he is almost unlovable, please remember that the deal isn’t really about falling in love, as much as it is about committing to love.
You are alone no more. They say if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together. I mean, go-to-get-her! You found her. And as you start this journey of life together, we wish you the very best, asking that the Lord himself unfolds the story of your life to the glory of his name.
Today you marry your best friend. The two of you become one. May the journey ahead bring you the very best of God’s goodness and faithfulness. You are alone no more.
-Sarabelle x Phinehas